


Being 493

by Infie



Series: Being [2]
Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Mindfuck, descriptions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-16
Updated: 2004-02-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infie/pseuds/Infie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NOW you thought you knew 494.</p><p>You were half-right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being 493

**Author's Note:**

> MUST read "Being 494" first, or this will make limited sense.

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

Alec watched the flag rise over the roof, _their_ roof, with a tight chest. He wondered if any of the others realized the irony inherent in their sticking together so determinedly. If they realized that in their own way, in Terminal City they were working to recreate the security of Manticore on the outside, just as he had. His cheeks felt stiff in the cold breeze. Of course they didn't. It had taken him years to understand. He smiled at Joshua as his friend gave him a wide, huffing grin. 

Well, good for them. He could hardly criticise, could he? 

He hunched his shoulders a little more tightly within his coat, tucking his ears against the collar. Transgenic or not, that wind was cold. 

A commotion at the gate caught his attention, along with that of the others on the roof. They moved to the edge en masse, in perfect lockstep. Alec couldn't help but notice Max and Logan's linked hands. He briefly considered playing the outraged boyfriend and trying to maintain the fiction for her sake, but discarded the idea. The last thing he needed was to get more involved in Max's love life since it was obvious that, chemistry aside, he wasn't going to be playing a starring role. 

They looked over the edge at the gate. 

All of the people around the gate were frozen in place, with that peculiar stillness that only people in utter shock could generate. As the man they were staring at stepped though, Alec understood why. Recognition slammed through the group on the rooftop, a psychological detonation that rendered them all speechless, motionless... damned near catatonic. The man looked up, caught sight of Max, waved mockingly. 

Alec felt himself freeze right down to his bones. 

Lydecker. Holy shi... 

* * *

**_{Seattle, 3 September 2020}_**

Ben wandered through the wreckage of the Manticore facility. His shock at seeing the place in flames was nothing compared to his dismay now. Charred wood and blackened cement covered all he could see. Somewhere in this mess was his stash, safely enclosed in a fireproof box hidden behind a panel in Lydecker's office. A wry grin crossed his face. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, all he had to do was find the damned thing. 

His foot hit something in the ashes with a soft clunk, and he crouched to see what he had uncovered. A lock box! Excellent. He bashed it open with a nearby chunk of concrete, and looked inside. 

Photographs. 

Ben's eyes widened. This sure as hell wasn't his stash! 

The photographs were of bodies, ruined faces, toothless mouths. 494's handiwork. Ben closed his eyes and shuddered, fingers clenching against the pictures. He felt regular paper underneath and pulled out a single sheet of plain white letter paper. It was covered in notes in an even, precise hand that Ben immediately recognized as Lydecker's. His eyes skimmed the notes briefly. Random thoughts about the murders, musings about 493's possible motivations. Nothing interesting. Ben dropped the handful of photos back in the lockbox, set it down. A flash of pink caught his eye, a post-it note stuck to one of the middle photos, one he hadn't looked at. He sucked in his breath. 

The photo had been taken the day he'd come out of re-indoctrination, after 494's death. He hadn't taken the inevitable trip to Psychological Operations into account in his plans, but he'd made it through without revealing himself. In the photo, his face was expressionless, but his eyes gleamed with his excitement at having come home. The post-it was in another hand, not Lydecker's, and said _Your boy looks good, doesn't he?_ Something about the writing and the smugness made Ben think of Sandoval. His lip curled, and he ripped off the note to crumple it. It dropped from nerveless fingers as he saw the black ink underneath. This one was in Lydecker's inimitable script. 

_Welcome home, 493_ , it said. 

* * *

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

Alec blinked, flexing his fingers as if the post-it note was still held crumbled between them. No one seemed to have noticed his momentary tune-out; Lydecker continued to wave and the rest of the people on the roof continued to stand speechless. He focussed closely on Lydecker's face and noted a fine tracery of scars that hadn't been there before. Controlling his breath with an effort, he backed away from the edge. 

The movement caught Lydecker's attention, and his eyes shifted from Max to fasten on Alec's face. His shock was palpable. Alec had never seen Lydecker look so pale, or so off balance. _Good_ , he thought viciously. _Surprise, Deck._

* * *

**_{Seattle, 16th September 2020. 2200 hours.}_**

Ben focussed on the tail lights of the smaller SUV in front of him, his target. It had been a lot easier than he'd expected, even with the last minute intelligence. He knew the instant that the driver realised he was there; the lights flashed for the barest instant and he caught a glimpse of a pale face in the side mirror, turned his way. Ben grinned faintly, gunned the engine. 

The two SUV slammed into each other with a scream of outraged metal and grinding gears. Glass shattered in the passenger window, scattering in a glittering fall of reflected moonlight. Ben had a moment to appreciate the unexpected beauty before the lighter, smaller vehicle pulled away from him. His target caught sight of him, and Ben saw his eyes widen in recognition. His own eyes narrowed and he stepped on the accelerator. The wheel shuddered in his hands as he struck his target again, shoving it closer to the side of the road. 

A grin crossed his face as he noticed their proximity to the harbour. Excellent. Dropping a gear for the extra power, he gripped the wheel more tightly. "Here's your exit, Deck," he said, and pushed the other SUV into the gleaming black water of Seattle Harbour. 

* * *

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

Lydecker recovered faster than Alec would have expected under the circumstances. His face hardened, and his chin lifted into the familiar stubborn arrogance. A rustle ran through the crowd, more felt than heard. Lydecker lowered his arm and shook off his escort, heading straight for the door to their building. It was only then that they noticed the cane. The rustle grew louder. Lydecker hadn't lost any of his confidence or power though. He looked determined. 

And pissed. 

Alec bit his lip. It might be wise to take some preemptive actions. "Hey, Max." He looked past Logan's bulk. "Maybe we shouldn't meet meet with him right away." 

Max's eyes looked huge in her pale face. "I can't believe it," she breathed. Her expression darkened. "I can't believe that _asshole_ had the nerve to show up on my doorstep again." 

Logan placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Look, Max," he said softly. "I know you remember him for all the awful things he did to you when you were young, but he broke with Manticore. He helped us." 

Alec watched Max's face soften. _Shit._ "Sure," he interjected sarcastically. "Helped us learn to be passionate little killers." 

Max's reaction was everything he could have hoped. She pulled herself to her fullest height, nostrils flaring a little with remembered rage. "We don't owe that bastard anything," she declared. "Let him wait." 

Alec hid his smile and motioned to Mole, who nodded curtly and moved to the stairs. "Put him in one of the offices," he said. Mole waved his cigar in acknowledgement and let the door to the front stairs fall closed behind him. The rest of the group headed towards the back stairs. Alec caught Max just before she went through the metal fire door. "Max," he said, his throat tight. "We need to talk." 

* * *

"I don't believe it." Max looked as though she was about to be sick. "I don't believe _you_." Bootheels clicked angrily against the rooftop as she paced away from him. "How could you even come up with something this sick, Alec?" Her hair flew out in a dark halo as she whirled to face him. "I though you'd changed. I thought you were becoming someone worth trusting. And now you tell me this... this..." she spluttered with rage. " _Bullshit_ story about being my _brother_?" 

Alec sighed. "It's true, Max," he said wearily, leaning his back against the side of the little hut housing the stairs. He slid into a sitting position. 

"Oh, Alec says it's true." She retorted. "I guess that just makes it all so, right?" 

"I can prove it." 

"You can prove it." She shook her head, then stopped as a thought struck her. "Bullshit, Alec. You forget I saw your barcode when I lasered it off your neck. That was the barcode of X5-494. _Not_ my brother." 

"I had his barcode tattooed over mine, Max. I had to be able to pass..." Before he completed his sentence she was on him, pulling his head down to expose his neck. The barcode was only a faint smudge under the concealing makeup. 

"Damn." She muttered. "It's only just starting to come back... not enough to tell." She released him, shoving him away and up so that his head smacked against the wall as she rose. Alec winced and rubbed the back of his head. His hand came away with a trace of blood on his fingertips. 

"See?" He said, exactly as he had that day in the space needle. He held his hand up for her to see, turning it so the fading light played against the dark stain. "What'd I tell you?" The dark insolence was an exact copy of that night. 

The whole line of Max's body stiffened. She spun on one heel, ever so slowly turning to stare at him incredulously. "What did you say?" Her voice was a menacing whisper. 

"You're a predator, Max." Alec replied. "A wolf in sheep's clothing. That hasn't changed. And neither have I." 

Max sat down abruptly, like a suddenly released ragdoll. "Ben?" She breathed. 

"The one and only," he replied in Alec's cocky voice. He knew it was coming, watched the joy, misery, confusion and anger war in her expressive face. Rage won. 

"You unmitigated bastard!" She exploded. "How could you do this? How could you not _tell_ me?" She choked on tears. "I killed you." 

Alec winced reflexively. "No," he replied softly. "Not me, Max." 

"No." She glared at him. "No... instead I killed some other poor bastard. And you let me believe it was you." She rose unsteadily to her feet, stabbed a finger at him. "You let me believe I killed my own brother!" 

"Max," he heaved a sigh and leaned his head back against the wall of the hut. "You don't understand. You can't." 

"I won't." Her mouth was set in stubborn lines. "Why didn't you tell me? After Manticore burned down? After you decided to fit yourself into my life?" Her chin trembled ever so slightly, and it hurt him to watch her struggle. "After the night I broke you out of _jail_ , Alec... How could you ask me about Ben?" She dashed the back of her hand across her eyes angrily. "How could you do all of that and not tell me?" 

Alec was on his feet and had taken a step towards her before he realized that he had moved. A new tension tightened Max's shoulders and he stopped before she gave in to the desire to attack him physically. He shook his head. "I wanted to tell you, Max, so many times. But being 493 was something I left behind. And you have to believe me, I tried. I tried to tell you." He stared at her intently, willing her to trust him. _Come on Max, **believe**_. He spread his hands a little. _How ironic is it that the one time I make the effort to tell the truth..._ "But 493 died in the woods that day, in more ways than one. I am X5-494." He blinked as he said it, then continued slowly. "Or, I was. I'm Alec, now." He lifted his chin in a gesture he recognized with a flash of self-deprecating humour as being remarkably similar to Lydecker's. "I've been rebuilt enough." 

"And what about Rachel?" Max asked sharply. "Reacted a bit strongly for someone you'd never met, didn't you?" 

Alec's eyes flashed dangerously. "We will not," he said clearly and without compromise. "Discuss Rachel." 

"Fine." Max compressed her lips. "But your little display of outrage in the bar that night was somewhat hypocritical, don't you think? 'You and your rugrat brothers and sisters'?" 

"Not at all." Alec looked down his nose at her. "We were wrong. Deserters. I just happened to find my way home." He shrugged. "And believe me... 494 told me all about just how bad it did get." 

Max stared at him. "Why now? Why all of a sudden?" Dark eyes widened in realization, and she answered her own question. "Because Lydecker is here." He nodded. "And he knows?" He nodded again. "How do you know?" 

"I found a photograph after Manticore burned down. It had 'Welcome home, 493' on it, in Lydecker's writing." Alec headed for the edge of the roof, needing the cold wind to cool him off. 

"That's it?" Max sounded incredulous. "He could have been talking about the body, for Christ's sake." 

"No." Alec wrapped his coat more tightly around his body. "No, that's not all." 

* * *

**_{Seattle, 16 September 2020. 2015 hours.}_**

Ben left the lab tech's apartment, seething with frustrated rage. Shame burned through him as well as he rubbed the tiny aching pain at the base of his neck. How could he have let himself get in so deep that he'd had to sacrifice Max's happiness for his life? Oh, sure... that ordinary she was all hung up on was nothing to him, but he'd seen Max's face and what it had all meant to her. 

Plus, he'd never liked being rescued. 

Or saying thank you. 

Or sorry. 

Fuck! 

He punched the wall. A shadow at the end of the hall jerked at the sound and disappeared around the corner. Ben frowned, then gave a grim smile. The lab tech had not yet left the building. Perhaps he could redeem himself after all. He hurried after the little man. 

He caught his quarry at the back door. 

"Hey!" The tech spun away fromm his restraining hand, plastering himself against the hallway wall. "What do you want? I'm leaving! You all agreed I could go." 

Ben looked him over through cold narrowed eyes. How to play this fellow? His anger told him to drag the jerk back upstairs kicking and screaming if necessary, as long as he helped Max. His brain told him to figure out what the guy knew. His gut agreed with his anger, and Ben fisted both hands in the tech's shirt in preparation for yanking the little shit off his feet. 

"Don't hurt me!" The tech gasped out. "Don't hurt me!" 

Ben sneered, shifted. 

"Wait!" The tech's eyes widened with shock and a fear so intense that Ben was taken by surprise. "I know you! Why didn't I see it before? You're 494." The tech's lips curled slightly with bravado, but his eyes were terrified. "Lydecker's special project..." 

Ben released him like he'd burst into flame. "What do you know about Lydecker, little man?" Dark menace flowed through his voice. "Start talking." 

"Lydecker set me up here," the man told him, shrinking even further back against the wall. "He sent the girl to me in the first place." 

"He sent Max to you?" Ben stepped back. The tech breathed a sigh of relief. "Where can I find him?" The other man just stared at him wide-eyed. "Where is he?" Ben snapped. 

"He's supposed to meet me tonight, before I leave." The tech stuttered. "He owes me one for helping him set up 59..." He broke off, realizing that he was saying too much. 

"599." Ben's face froze. Zack. This little prick had helped set up Zack. 

And now Zack was an abomination. 

Oh, he knew that the two events were unrelated, that Zack had slipped Lydecker's noose that time, and he knew the Lydecker had been working with the transgenics when Zack had given himself up. It didn't matter. 

This little bastard had set his brother up. 

"...so I'm supposed to meet him on Harbour at 10 o'clock," the tech babbled on, still looking like a rabbit confronted with a wolf. Not a bad analogy, Ben mused, flexing his fingers. "He's working on something... he's planning on hooking up with the girl later on." 

Max and Lydecker? Hooking up? But... Lydecker knew. Knew about 493. 

No no no. He would not do all of this again. No more rebuilding himself from scratch. He was 494 now. Any new life would be built on _this_ foundation. He couldn't go back to being 493. He _could not_. 

Lydecker had to go. 

* * *

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

Max was staring at him with a look of disbelief that was becoming irritatingly familar. "You." She said, placing her hands on her hips and bobbing her head for emphasis. "YOU were the one who drove Lydecker off the road." 

Alec nodded. "I waited for him to surface for ages." He shrugged. "He didn't." 

"And now he's here." Her eyes flashed. Her face looked stiff, and he realized with dismay that her rage was cooling into something much worse. "You never would have told me, would you?" Her lips barely moved as she spoke, and her eyes were icy. "You would have let me go on believing that I killed one of the people I loved most in the world. That he was a murderer." 

Alec was silent. 

"That day at the police station, when I called you a monster. I was right." He hadn't realized that her gaze could get colder, but it did. "My brother, the person I remember, could never do that to me." 

"Max..." He said thickly. _Nononono..._

"No." Max looked carved of stone. All the blood had left her face, leaving her the pale cream of marble. "Don't say anything else. I don't want to hear it." 

"Max.." 

"NO!" She turned her back on him. "Just leave, Alec. Leave for good. I never want to see you again. Haven't you done enough damage?" She wrenched the door to the stairs open. "Just. Leave." She disappeared down the stairs. 

"Well, shit." Alec stared up at the sky. _That could certainly have gone better._ There was no question that she was serious though. He'd seen this Max before. It was the Max who came to the fore when she spoke of Manticore. He heaved a sigh. Well... hell. Maybe it was time to find somewhere to lay low a while anyway. Somewhere...else. He turned in a circle, debating which way to head. An inexplicable urge turned him northeast. "All right," he said aloud. "That way." 

* * *

Max stomped down the steps and made her way unerringly to where Lydecker was being held. If Mole outside the door caressing his shotgun hadn't been enough to tell her where he was being held, Logan's position beside him with a conciliatory look on his face would have. "Let me in," she demanded. For a change, no one argued. 

"Hello, Max." Lydecker greeted her with his usual patronising tone. His eyes flicked over her shoulder. 

"He's not coming in." Max bit out. "You're safe," Lydecker relaxed minutely, "for the moment." She took a bitter satisfaction in the flash of fear in his eyes. An instant later it was gone, replaced with Lydecker's customary smirk. He moved to stand near the window, a heaviness in his step she'd never seen before. She took her first real look at him. 

There was a fine tracery of scars across his face, a fading pink all but lost against his skin. He looked like he'd been pushed through a chain link fence. He caught her looking. 

"It looks better than it was," he said. 

"Alec really did a job on you," she agreed. 

"This wasn't 494," Lydecker told her. "This was those Familiar bastards who dragged me out of the harbour." He tapped his knee, and she heard the faint sound of metal under his fingers. A brace? " _This_ was 494." 

"How did you survive?" Max sounded uninterested, but Lydecker grinned anyway. 

"I had a nice big air pocket in the cab," he said. "Or I did until they caved in the top getting me out." 

"Hmmm." Max shrugged. "How did you escape them?" 

"I didn't. They let me go." Lydecker shrugged. "Apparently once you were exposed, I wasn't any use to them anymore." 

Max nodded. "How long have you known about Ben?" She blurted. Lydecker blinked. 

"Since the beginning," he said. He looked out the window. Max joined him. 

Alec was walking towards the east, towards the sewer access the used to leave Terminal City. His khaki duffle bag was slung over his shoulder. Max's eyes frosted as she saw him. As she watched, he moved his shoulders a little, like he felt their eyes on him. he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, smearing off the makeup that concealed the returning barcode. With the pressure, the barcode came up faster. When he dropped his hand it was almost normal-dark. Max focussed, caught her breath. 

The barcode was perfectly clear in the fading light. 

And it belonged to X5-49... _ **4**_. 

* * *

Alec shuddered faintly and rubbed the back of his neck. He could feel Lydecker's eyes on him, and it made the tiny hairs on the back of his neck itch. His hand came away tacky with the flesh coloured makeup he used in case his barcode started showing, and he laughed at himself. Or, it could be the breeze on the stiffened hair from the makeup that was making him itch. 

He slung his duffle higher over his shoulder, heading for the sewers and the underground exit to Terminal City. He still wasn't sure where he was going, but that little impulse to head northeast was still pushing against the back of his mind. He was starting to think that Max kicking him out was for the best. He'd allowed himself to get too caught up in her little crusade already, anyway. Heading out, laying low. Definitely the way to go. 

He yanked up the sewer cover, took a deep breath of the relatively clean air, and dropped into the sewer. 

* * *

Max gave an incoherent blurt of shock. Lydecker frowned in confusion, but caught her wrist as she whirled for the door and made to go after Alec. 

"Don't" he said softly. "Let him go." 

"Let him _go_? Are you nuts?" Undisguised shock was written all over her face. "Stupid question... of course you're nuts. That bastard lied to me again!" She pulled away. 

Lydecker frowned again. "Maybe you should tell me what he said." 

Max told him. "But you know all of this," she said impatiently, starting for the door again. Lydecker didn't move. She looked over her shoulder at him. He looked thunderstruck. "He said you knew." 

"I didn't know _that_." Lydecker sat heavily in a convenient office chair. "Max..." 

Max turned around to face him fully. His face was grey. "Deck?" She asked, suddenly concerned. 

"Max." Lydecker swallowed. "I assumed he'd figured it out at some point. I had no idea he'd come up with this..." 

Max fought the urge to shake him. " _WHAT?_ " She gritted out. 

"Max... There is no 494." 

* * *

**_{Manticore, Gillette Wyoming, March 2009}_**

The helicopters whirred and dipped overhead. Bright arc-lamp searchlights strobed across the sky. The wind bit with malicious glee into the skin of the searchers as they fanned out, hunting the X5 unit that had the temerity to try and escape. 

Lydecker squinted into the icy air. Gritted teeth made his jaw hurt, but he just couldn't bring himself to release the tension. Not until all his kids were back in their barracks. Back safely. 

Where he could punish them until they would die rather than run away again. 

He'd never felt rage like this, not since he he'd stopped drinking, anyway. He shook himself as the wind gave an extra bitter bite. One of the search units came back. "Report," he barked. 

"Sir, we've got seven so far... three wounded, two killed." 

He didn't think his teeth could clench harder, but they did. Two killed. Damnit. He shook it off, concentrated on the moment. "You've got a big problem if just one makes it to the outside." The threat in his voice was unmistakeable. 

Except, maybe, to the grunt in front of him. "Well, realistically, sir... it's ten degrees out here. How far can these kids get?" 

Lydecker fought the urge to roll his eyes and contented himself with, "Just find them." 

The soldier gave a curt nod and did an about face. 

"Wait!" Lydecker stopped him. "Where are you holding the prisoners?" 

The cell for the survivors was icy cold, maybe even colder than the air outside. The five X5s were huddled together for warmth. Lydecker noted with distant approval that they had placed the wounded on the inside of the group. Of the three wounded, only one was badly damaged. The others leaped to their feet as he entered, snapping to attention. He noted blood on two of them; one was shot in the arm and the other the shoulder. The wounds were through and through and were already closing. 

The remaining X5 was pulling himself to his feet through sheer strength of will. His lip bled freely where he had bitten through it, but he remained resolutely silent. His right leg was broken between the knee and hip, and when he stumbled on his good leg Lydecker saw the pointed end of the bone tent the thin shift the boy wore. He made it to attention, except for the grotesquely mangled leg. 

Lydecker glared at them all. "You make me ashamed to command you." He said, voice colder than the air in the room. "I did not create deserters! I created soldiers." He was vibrating with rage as he waved the regular troops behind him forward. "Take these traitors away," he said. 

The boy with the broken leg was hustled through the door with no regard for his injury. He glared at Lydecker with defiance as he passed. "You remember," he shouted at Lydecker as he was dragged away. "My name is Ben!" 

Lydecker stared after him with pitiless eyes. "Not anymore," he said. 

* * *

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

"Ben didn't escape?" Max felt faint. "But..." 

"No." Lydecker scrubbed a hand over his face. "X5-493 was captured the same night you escaped. As I said, he was badly hurt. We already knew he was unstable." He looked at her with hooded eyes. "But he was tough, a fighter for real. So we decided to fix him." 

"Fix him?" Max sat down in another of the office chairs. "How?" 

"By creating X5-494." Lydecker shrugged. "We re-coded his barcode with a genetic virus, we put him through a year and a half of re-indoctrination... and at the end of the process we had the perfect transgenic soldier." He lifted his chin. "X5-494 performed in exemplary fashion for us for years. There was no sign of instability, no sign of his original personality. Hell, most of Manticore had no idea that he'd started out as 493. It was perfect." 

"It didn't stay that way though, did it, Deck?" 

* * *

**_{Manticore, 26 November 2018}_**

Lydecker stood over 494's limp body. He glared down at the transgenic assessingly. 494 was sprawled carelessly over his bunk in the isolation cell, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. A line of drool slid from the corner of his bruised and battered mouth. Sandoval waved his hand in front of the empty eyes. 

There was no reaction. 

Lydecker pursed his lips, bent, and swung his hand forcefully towards 494's face. He stopped at the last instant. 494 lay motionless. Lydecker straightened. 

"Who the hell was responsible for his questioning?" He demanded angrily. "There's nothing left here! He's barely got enough brain left to blink, for christ's sake!" 494 eyes closed slowly, then reopened to once again stare blankly at nothing, as if to prove his point. Sandoval gave his best innocent look from his position in the doorway. Lydecker jerked his head at the guards angrily. "Get him up." He ordered icily. "We have to see what we can salvage from... this." 

The guards obeyed with alacrity, pulling 494 up onto his feet. 494's eyes opened as he was half-carried, half-dragged out of the room. He met Lydecker's concerned gaze. His lips moved. 

"Wait." Lydecker bent close to 494's mouth. "What, son?" 494's breath whispered against his ear, but he still couldn't make out the words. "Try again." 494 took a deep breath, gasping against the pain of broken ribs, tried more forcefully to speak. This time Lydecker heard him, and his blood froze in his veins. He stepped back. 

494's eyes closed, hiding the glint of intelligence Lydecker knew lurked in their depths. He had said one word. 

_"Ben."_

* * *

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

"We had to eliminate that spark. We had to cement X5-494 in place again." Lydecker said flatly. "Sandoval's abuse on top of that ridiculous Berrisford mission... it broke all that careful conditioning we'd spent years putting in place. Careless bastard. He should have known better than to place X5-494 in that kind of situation." Remembered fury shone in his eyes. 

That anger was echoed in Max's, for a different reason. "I thought I knew how low you'd stoop. But this is beyond anything I could have imagined." Max stood, began pacing the room with short, angry steps. 

Lydecker laughed a sharp bitter sound. "Oh, it gets worse. By then Renfro was at Manticore. She knew nothing of X5-493; or at least she thought he had escaped like everyone else." He shifted. "We needed to sublimate 493 once and for all. So we put him through a new round of indoctrination, using the newest drugs and the latest methods. We imprinted him with one thought... 493 is the enemy." He shrugged. "Who knows. It may have worked. But Renfro had a target for us, so we sent him out early." 

"What happened?" 

Lydecker shot her a pitying look. "You know what happened, Max." 

Max'e eyes stung. "Ben," she whispered. 

"Ben," Lydecker agreed. 

* * *

**_{Seattle, 9 April 2019}_**

Lydecker laid his hand against X5-493's neck. It was clearly broken, but there was still the faint thread of a pulse. It was there. Once. 

Twice. 

Reluctant, but there. 

Lydecker regained his feet and indicated with a tilt of his head that his team was to proceed with retrieval. He'd known when he saw the body lying so still that the situation would be dire. But this was X5-493, and this kid simply would. Not. Die. 

He heard a soft grunt as the soldiers worked to ease 493 onto the sheet for carrying, and turned to watch. They stabilized the neck with gentle hands. Lydecker tapped his foot impatiently. They had to get the kid back to Manticore. 

Then they could finally get it right. 

* * *

**_{Terminal City, 19 May 2021}_**

Max was back to sitting, on the floor this time. "He didn't die." 

"No." Lydecker told her bluntly. "He didn't." Her shock didn't abate. "Come on. I've been told what they did with 599, and he didn't even have a heart left, for christ's sake. You can't think a broken neck would be beyond our capabilities. We came close... he went down on us four times before he came back for good." 

"Jesus," Max croaked out. "Killed him, didn't kill him, killed him, didn't kill him... I can't stand this." 

Lydecker's eyes filled with an unexpected kindness. "He didn't die, Max. You didn't kill him." 

"So, you took him back again, put him together again. Who did you make him this time?" 

"That's the thing, Max. When he came out of the hospital, all the pysche tests on him were normal. There was nothing for us to fix." Lydecker stood now. "It was like some part of him really did die in those woods. When we sent him to reindoctrination, we decided not to mess around with it too much. We put in post hypnotic suggestions, things to have happen if anyone ever found out about 493." He swung his damaged leg a little. "It seems I tripped one of those." 

"He found a photo, at Manticore." Max told him. "Welcome home 493 ring a bell?" 

"Ah." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "That does explain it." 

"The Manticore doctor told him you were planning on hooking back up with me." 

Lydecker nodded. "Exposure as 493 and a clear threat to his new life. His conditioned response is to eliminate the threat." He smiled grimly. "Me." 

Max's eyes widened with alarm. "He's still dangerous, isn't he? How could you let me let him go?" 

"Two reasons." Lydecker looked down at her with a twinkle in his eyes. "First, he chose to reveal himself this time. He knows you aren't a threat, and now that you know, I'm not either." Max opened her mouth, but he held up a hand to silence her. "Second, I know where he's gone." 

* * *

**_{Manticore, 19 May 2021}_**

Alec heaved a sigh as he looked at the blackened ruins around him. It looked different now, six months later. The snow was gone, and stubborn bits of grass poked their heads through the ash. It looked like a place of rebirth, rather than death. 

He grinned at the absurdly poetic thought and scuffed his feet along the ground as he rambled through the remains of the barracks building. He'd known as soon as he left Seattle that the impulse was driving him here. Likely a remnant of the repeated psychological conditioning he'd undergone here. When in doubt, run home. 

He wandered to the administration buildings, where the offices had been. Renfo had be located _here_ , Sandoval _there_. He stopped, proceeded more slowly. Lydecker's office. The lockbox was still canted to one side, all of the papers and photos inside long gone, taken by wind and weather to their destruction. He walked the perimeter of the room. An unexpected hardness under his foot made him stumble and look down. 

His stash! 

One sure strike with his boot knocked the fire-weakened lock open. Money fluttered in the still cold wind and he laughed. Enough money to go anywhere or do anything he wanted. A year later, and selling drugs to the guards had _finally_ paid off. He stuffed the money into his duffle. His hands slowed as they encountered something harder. 

Postcards. 

_Damn. I'd forgotten these were here._

Postcards of tall buildings and high places. He guessed he'd never really gotten that need out of his system. He flipped through them rapidly. The Space Needle. The Empire State Building. The Stratosphere. The Eiffel Tower. He stopped at the next one, and began to grin. It looked like a good place to lay low was right at his fingertips. 

* * *

Max figured it out as they left the Seattle limits. "You imprinted him with a command to return to base," she declared with annoyance. 

"Of course." Lydecker never took his eyes from the road. "In the event of exposure, we needed to make sure that a meltdown like last time didn't happen again. Despite the psych tests, we couldn't be sure. So we cut the odds." 

"You cut the odds. That's very reassuring." They pulled into the one-time parking lot. Lydecker turned off the engine. They both scanned the lot. There were no other vehicles. 

"So you know where he went, huh?" Sarcasm dripped from Max's words. Lydecker didn't look at her, instead getting out of his truck. Max followed suit. "He doesn't have a choice, you said. He's conditioned, you said." She echoed his words mockingly. 

"He was here," Lydecker said flatly, leaning over a single tread mark marring the dusty surface of the lot. "Motorcycle." He returned upright with a visible effort. 

"Great," Max said. "So he's on the loose." 

"No," replied Lydecker distantly, staring into nothingness. "He's free." 

* * *

**_{Seattle, 8 July 2019}_**

Sandoval slapped the stack of photos down on Lydecker's desk. "He got out of re-indoctrination today," he declared. 

Lydecker grunted, pushing the pictures aside. "Good," he replied distractedly. Sandoval gave him a long look before turning to leave. Lydecker stopped him at the door. "What were the final results of his profiling?" 

"Normal." Sandoval sounded disgruntled. "It's like he came back a different person." 

Lydecker waved his hand in bored dismissal, head bent over his desk. "Shut the door on your way out." Sandoval gave him a sneer he pretended not to see and complied. As soon as the door clicked shut his hands were on the photos. The top photo was a close-up. The photographer had caught 493 looking straight at the camera. His face was appropriately blank, as befitted a Manticore-trained transgenic. Lydecker noted the good health radiating from him and nodded his approval. He was a bit thinner than before, but full service would quickly return him to his previous mass. He scowled at Sandoval's note. 'Lydecker's special project', they were calling 493... or 494 as the case may be. 

Lydecker took a closer look at 493's face. He did look good. Looked healthy. 

Looked sane. 

Lydecker leaned back, tapping the picture. Something caught his attention, something subtle. He looked more closely. There was something about the set of his head, or maybe... 

No. 

It was in the eyes. Indomitable little bastard. 

Ben. 

Lydecker couldn't help it; he grinned. Not just that... he laughed out loud. He picked up his pen and scribbled a little note. _Welcome home, 493._ He nodded at his note, slapped Sandoval's post-it over top, then locked the whole set of pictures in his fireproof lockbox. 

When he left his office, he was still smiling. 

* * *

**_{Manticore, 19 May 2021}_**

"He's _free_?? Have I entered a parallel dimension here?" Max's incredulity cut through Lydecker's reminiscing, bringing him back to the present with a start. "Did you not spend over ten years hunting us down because we were _free_??" 

"You were a different story. You were deserters." Lydecker's lips compressed as he turned icy eyes on her. "Traitors. 493 was a good soldier for me for years, and he had a meltdown because of poor management on our part. And maybe..." He huffed a quick breath, watching it frost in the air. "Maybe I've changed." 

"Uh huh." Max stared at him like he'd grown an extra head. "And I'm Cleopatra reborn." 

"This isn't about you." Lydecker snapped at her. "It's about _him_. Your 'brother', according to you. Why are you fighting me on this?" 

"Fine." Max's mouth was mulish. "As long as he keeps the amateur dentistry to himself, he's free. But I'll be paying attention." 

"Oh, don't worry about that." Lydecker rocked back on his heels, staring out over the ruins of his project with something like pleasure. "We made him afraid of teeth." 

* * *

**_{Toronto Canada, 2 July 2021}_**

Alec stood on the observation deck of the CN Tower and looked west. Directly in front of him and to his right stretched the city of Toronto, a sea of lights as far north as he could see. To his left seethed the expanse of Lake Ontario, whipped into chop by the summer storm charging north across the water. The wind whipped his clothes tight to his body, rocking him almost off his feet. Now this... _this_ was high. He grinned. Max would love this place. 

"Excuse me, sir?" A young man clad in the colours of the tower staff tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Yeah?" Alec replied without looking at him. 

"You'll have to come in, sir. The storm coming will generate a lot of lightning, and we need to close the deck." As if to prove his point, a bolt of lightning shattered the sky in front of him, striking the metal mast of a sailboat moored in the harbour. The smell of ozone came on the next gust of wind. 

Alec nodded and allowed himself to be pulled inside. "Hey," he said as they reached the safety of the inner deck. "I'm new around here, but I'm looking for somewhere to go and relax for a bit. Recharge, you know?" 

"Sure." The kid nodded as if he did know. Alec gave him full points for customer service. "What do you like?" 

Alec paused mid-step, came to a full stop. "What do I like?" 

The kid grinned at him. "Urban, suburban, rural... what?" 

"I like a place where I can sit down and have some beers with people who don't care who I am when I'm not with them." 

The kid blinked. 

"And... I like a place where I can smell the water." Alec nodded. "Where I can sit and the world is quiet." 

"Deep, man." The kid thought a moment. "You know," he said. "You might want to consider heading north. There's lots of towns and cities, and lots of wild places too... sometimes right beside each other. Like Muskoka, a couple of hours from here." He gestured vaguely. "Seven or eight good size towns, lots of party life. And they're smack in the middle of a wilderness." The kid snorted a little. "Hell, they even have wolf packs up there." 

Alec tilted his head a little, evaluating. "Wolves, huh?" A wide grin swept his mouth. "I think I'd fit right in." 

-30-

**Author's Note:**

> *still* canon-compliant.


End file.
